Hot Moves No Pressure presents Hot Moves No Mercy — the underground dance battle where locals bring the drama, crank the volume, and settle scores with spandex, sweat, and zero emotional regulation.

Tired of polite claps and polished talent shows, the Momagers have dragged their grudges into a dimly lit regional carpark for a full-throttle feud served in 8-counts. Expect unhinged characters, improvised chaos, surprise villains, plot twists no one rehearsed, and audience members who become part of the show.

It’s gritty.
It’s sweaty.
It’s pantomime on steroids.
Come for the show.
Stay for the party. 

Hot Moves No Pressure presents Hot Moves No Mercy as part of the 20206 Castlemaine State Festival.

NOTE — THIS EVENT IS SOLD OUT

With a head for numbers and a body for rolling, Mother Cruncher can find her way around a spreadsheet faster than you can say “what’s the position of my assets!”. Come tax time she sure knows how to work the fringe benefits, if you know what I mean. Well they don’t call her the a-CUNT-tant for nothing! With ever the eye for a bargain, even her dancers come in bulk! Mother Cruncher is here with her team, the Bulk Bogans, a group of dancing wrestlers holding onto their former glory like it was a discount coupon for the pharmacy. They are here tonight to give your figures a good working over and to make sure that your mouth isn’t writing cheques that your dance moves can’t cash!

Mother Cruncher is the momager for The Bulk Bogans.

The Bulk Bogans
Sarah Hart
Lisa Kearns
Kate Freston
Alyssa O’Sullivan
Ed Blaise
Matt Dandy

Make sure your mouth isn’t writing cheques your dance moves can’t cash.

Australia’s favourite mum, also known as Tracy Stacy Wright-Knee, is your nice, average suburban mum with a neat townhouse in Mackenzie Hill and a penchant for weight loss shakes. She’s a people pleaser and haaaaaaaaates conflict. She recently adopted the Fab5 — a group of highly advanced humanoids who she gets to do all her shopping at the IGA. They’re programmed for subservience…but could the point of singularity be approaching? Back to the grudge match. There’s definitely some bitterness here. Many years ago The Mother Cruncher signed Tracey up for a multi-level marketing scheme. Tracey lost a load of cash and gained a garage full of diarrhoea inducing weightloss shakes. She made the mistake of getting ‘high off her own supply’ and trusted a fart she shouldn’t have in the most sacred of spaces – water aerobics. So if you were wondering why Castlemaine’s only indoor pool closed, it was because their filtration system couldn’t cope with the fallout from Tracey’s insides. The pool may be gone, but the humiliation remains. Welcome to the ring, Australia’s Favourite Mum with the Fab 5!

Momager for Fab 5.

Fab 5
Mikaela Beckley
Will Henderson
Alice Matthieu
Julia Walsh
Isis Jordan

Highly advanced humanoids just returning to the underground carpark after shopping at the IGA for their dance mum. They are programmed for subservience but is the point of singularity approaching?

The Godmother runs her crew like a crime family, calling her dancers “nieces” and “nephews.” For her, loyalty is law; and betrayal means exile. When she speaks, people listen. When she smiles, they flinch. She’s not one to be taken advantage of, and not one to forgive. Her team, the Fisters toil day and night for their God Mother forging jewels in heat and sweaty devotion, but as her insatiable hunger pushes them to the brink, sometimes they must wonder — is there something beyond the endless grind? Here she is with her associates. It’s: the Godmother!

Momager for The Fisters.

The Fisters
Ally Oliver-Perham
Bryony Green
Libby Baker
Emma Pratt
Fron Jackson-Webb
Pinar Maher
Katie Bishop
Clare Woods
Em Webster
Cat McGauran
Josephine Collins

Fisters toil day and night for their Godmother, forging bling in heat and sweaty devotion, but as her insatiable hunger pushes them to the brink, a question rises — is there something beyond the endless grind, is it finally time to DANCE?

The Matron is a former head nurse who burned out after years of dealing with terrible patients, bad hygiene, and people who “did their own research.” She’s now an aesthetician who dabbles in the dark arts of fillers and botox. She can really make or break your face. The Matron’s team of renegades were too extreme even for the local permaculture sect! They’ve been in a blood feud with unrelenting beauty standards and the ethics of non-monogamy, and they’ve finally snapped! These two have a score to settle. You see, The Godmother utilised The Matron’s services, but only on the basis of discretion. Unfortunately, The Matron gets loose lips after a few adult beverages, and has been telling everyone at the Morocco Bar that the Godmother’s new troutpout is her finest work. The Godmother, on the other hand, thinks snitches get stitches.
So, here she is, to defend her honour, with her faction of misguided eroticists.

Momager for Cult’o’Mania.

Cult’o’mania
Emma Shannon
Brook Sykes
Lou Bay
Lisa Vettori
Annike Kearton
Vivian McManus
Christie George
Nat Elliott
Bec Howell
Annika Kearton

Too hardline even for their local permaculture cult, these misguided eroticists, battling conformity to unrelenting beauty standards and the ethics of non monogamy, see no other option but to form their own cult.

Led by the mysterious, vengeful Mother Fucker — the forgotten Mom of the Saturday slot! Ruthless, charismatic, and self assured to the point of arrogance, Mother fucker is here to dominate. Unpredictable and volatile – she’s above the law and doesn’t hold back. There’s only one thing she loves more than her rescue pigs – and that’s attention. She’s a late in life lesbian who has mastered the art of turning the straighties 180. In fact, I think she’s kissed all of these Moms at some point. If her team’s anything like her, they’re going to be smoking hot and ready to dominate! Someone is about to get served! Putting the rasher into ‘ring crasher’ it’s MOTHER FUCKER!”

Momager for the Rural Hot Bitches.

The Rural Hot Bitches
V Passiona (Vanessa)
Maximum Fizz Bitch (Fizzy)
Sucked in Sooze ( Sooze)
Shania Rain ( Sarah)
Teeleeshea Sunrise (Theresa) 
Tower of Power (Azzy Jay)
The RHEAL Hot bitch (Rhea)
La Toyah Soldier (‘Mel)
Derelict (Luke)
Steph Leppard (Steph )
Courtney Shove (Alice)

The rural bitches will be sizzlin’ like you’ve never seen them before, putting the rasher into ring crasher and giving a solid FU#K THAT BITCH, to anyone who gets in their way. You are about to get served!