Thank you!
Five years ago HMNP was just one of Mommy’s questionable ideas. Now look at it.
To every performer who brought the choreography, costumes, props, facial expressions, determination, creativity, joy, and complete bonkers energy to the stage: thank you. HMNP simply wouldn’t exist without the people who keep saying “yes” to this ridiculous, wonderful adventure year after year. And to our crew of loyal legends:
📸 @pennyryanphotography whose camera-witchcraft somehow captures everyone at their absolute peak. All photos will be online soon.
🎥 Justin Andrews, our cinematic king, preserving every wiggle, wobble, shimmy, twerk, and world-class shrimp head for posterity. All videos are up on YouTube.
🎤 MC Razz, who takes pure chaos and turns it into a show.
📞 Referee Elvis the Pelvic Floor, maintaining order through a combination of authority, flip-phone technology, and divine intervention.
🎂 DJ D.A.D, who edits tracks, runs audio, performs dressed as a cake, and calmly problem solves dancers insisting, “This is the wrong version.”
🎵 DJ Clam, provider of wall-to-wall bangers. No notes.
🚪 Our magnificent Door Crew: Mek, Phoebe, Randi, Sam, Cheryl and Tim, who kept things moving and upheld the sacred coupon laws.
❤️ Tim & the @boomtownwine crew, who host us like family for dance christmas every single year.
From the deepest depths of Mommy’s glittery heart: thank you. We adore you, we’re ridiculously proud of this community, and we cannot wait to do it all again in 2027. Until then, rest up, rehydrate, moisturise those cracked heels, and enjoy your trackies.
Mommy loves you all.
Dairy Queens
Women in STEM
Toxic Positivity
Mainsplainers
Fisters
The crowd at HMNP 2026
All photos by Penny Ryan Photography
The Dance Moms
After a big year, your Dance Moms are taking some much needed R&R. Dont expect a postcard update. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
Shera Blaise, Sarah Day Lisa Can’t, Rhani Dean-Talbett and Elizabeth Geddes
Clockwork Queens
A menopausal monarch leads her court in a chaotic, spirited battle, rejecting societal weight to reclaim her freedom and give no fucks.
Bron Willis, Cally Cross, Christiana Jackson, Kylie Hicks, Mel Fowler, Sam Upton and Stevie O’Cuana.
Jane Fondue
The Norwood Hill Queens of aerobics – collectively known as Jane Fondue – believe that a good workout can solve most problems. Even the sale of prime real estate in Castlemaine to a multinational corporation.
Amanda Cuyler, Cassia Read, Kerry Calcraft, Kristie Dunn, Meredith Davies and Leonie Van Eyk.
Pizza Night
Rejected by the draw, but never by themselves. They kept their spirits high, kept rehearsing, and kept believing. And now, against the odds, they’re back!
Belle Bloom, Callum McClure, Jade Sinclair, Kate Vigo, Melina Chan, Ngaire Leighton, Shaz Dunn and Zoe Ferronato
Shop Oppers
Salvos, Vinnies, the Good, MAAW. Within these shrines we find the holy acolytes of Op-Shoppery, the Sisterhood of the Immaculate Bargain. But also: Avarice, Jealousy, and Covetousness. What (low-cost) price Love?
Amelia Stuparich, Annabel Tunley, Cahra Swarris, Cara Derbyshire, Carmen Bunting, Christie Nieman and Lena Mitchell.
Main Character Energy
Maine Character Energy They’re the president of your school council. They’re prolific on Castlemainia. They dominate open mic night. They are: Maine Character Energy.
Amy Truscott, Evan Stainsby, Nicola Dunn, Stephanie Templeton and Tessa Halliday.
Castlemainiacs
Welcome to the grand opening of Castlemaine’s new heated indoor pool! You asked for it and the Castlemainiacs have delivered! (*pool not to scale).
Andrew Cowell, Bec Hulme, Bree Carr, Chrissy Heydon, Georgina Heydon, Hannah Michael, Jaimee Patira, Kahu Patira, Melanie Marshall and Rani Kerin.
Tindered Spirits
Single as a pringle and ready to mingle, the Tindered Spirits threw caution to the winds and set up a profile hoping for that special spark to kindle the burning hot fires of love.
Cedar Henderson, Derry Doyle, Jem Gay and Josh Al-kazhraji.
Shrimply Irresistible
Once kitchen-bound, these shrimps heard the dancefloor’s call, broke free, swam against expectations, and discovered liberation, laughter, confidence, and their shrimply irresistible selves!
Claire Groves, Keeks Vaughan, Leanne Marshall, Lee Edmonds, Natalya Garden, Tiffany Inglis and Tyne Cushing.
Rural Hot Bitches
It’s not about you. It’s about the Rural Hot Bitches. Shuddup.
Cake Bitch, Courtney Shove, Derelict, Diana Boss, Latoyah Soldier, Maximum Fizz, Shania Rain, Steph Leopard, Sucked in Sooz and Tower of Power.
The Nudibranch Crew
Put the prawn-juice away and get your sea-juices flowing, The Nudibranch Crew have gone under… Can they unleash goddess mode and triumph for eternal pearlescent pleasure?
Briony Phillips, Christine Webb, Frog Peck, Jessica Tape, Kirby Kneebone, Lisa Williams, Nicole Simirenko, Rebecca Ryan, Stephanie Carson and Tara Flinn.
The Vamps
Arising at night (Or so it may appear) Craving blood (Or praps just a beer) Seeking out the richest vein … Behold the Vamps of Castlemaine!
Becky Dewhurst, Emma Ragheb, Frances Harkin, Harvest Slootbeek, Lauren Watt, Lisa Merkesteyn, Meri Davies, Ronnie Moule, Sarah Butterfield and Zoey Schmitt.
Fab5
The Fab5 coven emerges once a year when the moon and rhythm align, for the ancient ritual of Hot Moves. Clap respectfully or be cursed!
Claire Wigles, Inez Deckers, Laurie Vigor, Letty Tseng, Mikaela Beckley, Paul Van Der Wal, Rhea Favero and Will Henderson.
Cream Dreams
You batter believe it. Cream dreams are whipping up soggy bottoms and fluffy tops as they beat themselves into a frenzy of hawt. sweat. Treats!
Alyssa O’Sullivan, Edd Blaise, Kate Freston, Lisa Kearns, Matt Dandy and Sarah Hart.
Dairy Queens
Four damsel dairy queens dutifully dote on deplorable Dick at his desert road diner… or do they…
Helen Vickers, Jess Lawrence, Kate Woodroofe, Sarah Newstead and Steph Jackson.
Women in STEM
Women in STEM have landed on a strange new world and found themselves an even stranger new rhythm.
Annika Kearton, Christie George, Emma Shannon, Lisa Vettori, Nat Elliot, Scarlett Musu and Vivian McManus.
Toxic Positivity
As their lungs bleed and the world burns around them, Toxic Positivity emerge from the carnage to dance into the nuclear sunset. Breathtaking.
Annette Staglieno, Brendon Hillermann, Clare Chalmers, Hadley Cole, Josie Ryder and Matt Paroz.
Mainsplainers
From op shops to slut drops, these nanas are done sorting donations. From volunteer to vogue, they’re here to serve slay. Sashay away.
Andrea Distefano, Ange Devery, Emma Condliffe, Isabel Dunstan, Jasmine Shaw, Rebecca Smallchua, Rosie Ramjet and Zoë Condliffe.
Fisters
The path to enlightenment is never easy, but the big bucks the Fisters spent on this retreat will surely deliver the Wellness they’re entitled to. Won’t it?
Ally Oliver-Perham, Bryony Green, Clare Wood, Em Webster, Emma Pratt, Fron Jackson-Webb, Josephine Collins, Katie Bishop, Leah Fistric, Libby Baker, Mel Kerl and Pinny Maher.